


Unfiltered

by Peppa_Prick_Offical



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Accents, Alastor Being a Jerk (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Whump (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor and Husker are half brothers (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor fucks up (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is a drama queen (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor snaps for a second (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust Being Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust-Typical Sexual Content (Hazbin Hotel), Angel is sad (Hazbin Hotel), Angels does an oopsy (Hazbin Hotel), Autism Spectrum, Autistic Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Cajun, Cajun Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Drinking, Drinking to Cope, Drug Use, Excessive Drinking, F/F, F/M, Heavy Drinking, Husk is So Done (Hazbin Hotel), Husker is an asshole (Hazbin Hotel), Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Louisiana Voodoo vibe, M/M, MY FIRST WORK IN YEARS ACUTALYY, My First Work in This Fandom, Niffty is nice (Hazbin Hotel), Self-Harm, So Many Swear Words, Swearing, am i doing this right, autistic headcannon, cursing, headcannons, how do tags work, i hope y'all enjoy!!!, um
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22580332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peppa_Prick_Offical/pseuds/Peppa_Prick_Offical
Summary: Alastor is a fucking idioti also needed more cajun Alastor so i took it upon myself to do so
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie, ill add more if it comes up
Comments: 56
Kudos: 455





	1. A Literal Wake-Up Call

**Author's Note:**

> THE ASTERISK (*) IS TRANSLATIONS OF ANY SAYINGS THAT AREN'T IN ENGLISH!! CHECK THE END NOTES FOR TRANSLATIONS!

God, what is that pounding noise? Or was it a feeling? This feeling of uncertainty is, unnerving.

"Wake up dipshit, I made the coffee you asked for."

 _"The coffee I asked for? Since when?"_ Alastor opened his eyes only to be greeted by the sight of husker with a kettle of coffee.

"T'ank y' Husk'r." Alastor mumbled sleepily. He turned over to get a better look of his surroundings.

It was his hotel room. The room was windowless with satin red furniture; the wallpaper was from the victorian era, delicate, but grand. Everything in the room was either black or some shade of red. Charlie had really outdone herself with the decor.

"Yea whatever spaz- do you have any idea what you did last night?" Husk asked

"Not really. I don' rememb'r nothin'." Alastor replied, taking a sip of the coffee.

Husk sighed, more aggravated than usual. "You got shitfaced last night- I had to drag you up the stairs.”

"Is dat why my head hurts? *Oo ye yi- coulda been mo' careful no?" Alastor touched his head, only to seethe in pain and look at husker angrily.

"Shut up you fuckin' *coonass- If it wasn't for me you would've lost all of your dignity."

Alastor sighed. What the hell happened last night? He stared into his coffee as if he were asking it what happened. Husker slurped whatever he was drinking- it could be coffee, alcohol or both.

Alastor turned to look at him, husker sighed and rolled his eyes.

"You made a bet while you were drunk-"

"How'd I get drunk?"

"Let me finish, will you?"

Alastor blinked and sipped his coffee, looking expectantly at husk and positioned himself to get comfortable.

"You look like you want me to tell you a fairytale or some shit."

Alastor waved a hand, gesturing to continue the story. Husker gave a raspy laugh, took a swig of his drink, and began the story.

"I call this story, 'Alastor is a Fucking Moron'-"

Alastor glared at him and rolled his eyes.

"In this magical land- there was a fucker named Alastor. He was really competitive and went around picking fights and making his shit everyone else's problem. Sound familiar?"

"*Arrete toi, I get it," Alastor said in an annoyed tone.

"In this misadventure of Alastor, he decided that challenging Angeldust to 'A friendly drinking competition'." Husker said, imitating Alastor's radio voice.

"Ey- I don't sound like dat."

"Shut up and let me finish- So our hero Alastor challenged the one and only Angeldust to a pissing contest. Alastor versus Angel, or Huge Ego versus Huge Ego. The competitors get a few drinks in, and Alastor proposes to raise the stakes."

"What do y' mean 'raise d' stakes'?" Alastor asked nervously.

A shit-eating grin crept across husker's face, not helping with the nervous tension Alastor was already feeling.

"Alastor and Angel make a deal. If Angel loses, Al gets his paycheck for two shows. If our hero Alastor loses, he can't have his staff for a month. But there was one detail that held them both accountable to their deal- Alastor decided it would be a great idea to shake on it."

Alastor choked on his coffee, he hurriedly set down the mug and snapped his fingers. Nothing. He snapped again, nothing. Husker watched the infamous Radio Demon struggle to do one of the easiest things his magic could do.

 _"Kinda expected more satisfaction than this-"_ Husker thought as he watched his brother frantically mutter God knows what to try and summon his filtered voice.

Alastor turned and looked at Husker, ironically, he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"What de hell am I gonna do now?! I cain't talk on m' show like dis! I 'ave a reputation t' keep up!" Alastor whisper-screamed, now knowing his voice was unfiltered, he didn't want to draw any attention to himself.

"What do you usually do if you fuck up?"

"I don't norm'lly muck up dis bad Husk'r-"

Alastor huffed, he flopped back onto his pillow with his hands over his face.

"How could i be so stupid? Why didn't y' do anythin'?!"

"I wanted to see what would happen and I'm not your babysitter." Husk replied matter-o-factly.

Alastor groaned into his hands miserably, then laid his hands on his chest and looked at the patterned ceiling.

"At leas' i 'ave lotsa shows i ain't nev'r aired." He said glumly.

He knew what he was going to have to do. He needed to talk to the man on the other side of the pact to get his staff back, and his life back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Oo ye yi..... That Hurts!  
> *coonass..... a controversial term for a Cajun. (Dont call someome that)  
> *Arrete toi.... cajun french for "Stop it, you."


	2. Remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastor remembers some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN LIKE THREE WEEKS- ill update more now, thanks so much for waiting!

Alastor sighed and tapped his fingers on his chest. He'd been processing what happened. How could he be so stupid to lose his staff? He sighed again, trying to think how he could get out of this one.

"Could ya stop fucking sighing?? I can hear you, drama queen."

"I know y' can hear me, _Huskr'_ ," Alastor growled. "I'm figurin' out how m' going t' get my staff back. Why did I even wage da contest in th' first place?" He groaned in frustration, dragging his hands over his face.

"I don't fucking know Al- you're unpredictable."

Alastor looked from him then back to the ceiling. At least that was one thing he managed to keep from all of this, the element of surprise.

"You know- I haven't seen you drink like that since..." Husk trailed off, looking distantly into his flask.

" 'Ince what Huskr'? C'mon please, I need ta' 'member why so I can figur' dis out." Alastor pleaded.

He gave a raspy laugh then looked at him.

"Come on, you know who."

Alastor stared blankly back at him. Husker sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Laura- Laura from Chicago? You went to a ball or some shit and stayed with me. And you met a chick and drank? It was the first time you got drunk, moron." The cat summarized.

Alastor made a face of confusion, then familiarity, then remembrance, and finally, embarrassment. Husker laughed at the deer then took a swig from his flask.

"You got so fucking wasted- Hey, did ya ever write her back?"

"Write 'er back?" He echoed, looking confused.

"Yea, she gave you her address and everything. She was really into you. I'd say she either was desperate or had bad taste!" He chuckled, taking yet another swig of his drink.

Alastor looked off distantly. Remembering last night and the night that was so long ago. It all felt, familiar.

_"MORE DRINKS SIR!!" Alastor bellowed._

_"Comin' right up." The bartender nodded._

_Alastor giggled, turning to a woman who laughed at him._

_"Y'know?? you're really handsome for a cowboy~" She drawled, lazily taking a sip from her glass._

_"I'm not a cowboy- I'm a radio host, my dear~!" He beamed._

_Taking a salt shaker, he tapped the top and held it up to his mouth._

_"Testing? Testing? Well, good evening Chicago City Bar! Today I have a guest on the show today, tell the world who you are darling!"_

_She laughed as the salt shaker was shoved in her face._

_"Hello folks, I'm Laura Sherwin! It's a pleasure being here~"_

_"And that's how I make my living! I'm not some measly cowboy!" Chuckling, he paused, looking at the salt shaker then back at her._

_Sensing what he was thinking, Laura took the pepper shaker and clinked it to Alastor's._

_"To us~" She purred. Then with a violent wave of her arm, smashed the shaker on the ground. Alastor laughed, then smashed his too._

_"OI- IF YOU'RE GONNA BREAK SHIT THEN LEAVE, GOT IT?" Yelled the bartender._

_The couple giggled. Laura looked at the bartender and knocked a glass off the bar, laughed at the crash, then at the angry look on the manager's face._

_"GET OUT- OR I'LL CALL THE FUCKING COPS!"_

_"Ok, fine buddy- don't get your trousers all fucked up in a twist~!" She cackled. Grabbing Alastor's arm for balance, they both wobbled out of the bar._

That was the only thing he remembered from that night, apparently they went to several other bars and got kicked out of them too. Husker noticed the fond look on his face and smiled.

"You really liked her, didn't you?" 

"She was fun at 'de time," Alastor replied defensively. "I n'evr gonna take 'er back 'wit me." 

"You mean you never wrote her back? Wow, Al, that's harsh. Even for you." Husk jested.

" 'Y left 'yer family-"

"I was joking doofus." Husker shot back, then irritably took a long drink from his flask.

Alastor sighed. He still didn't know how he was going to ask Angel to give him his staff back. He looked to Husk, who was now shaking the flask upside down into his mouth. He stopped and looked at him.

"The fuck are you looking at?"

Alastor smiled nervously.

"Could'ja ask Angel if-"

"Fuck no."

" 'Kay den."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the wait was worth it!!! thanks for all the support <3 <3 <3


	3. Oops.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel and Alastor have a semi-unproductive meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoy this super long chapter!!!! thanks for all the hits and support <3 <3 <3

Alastor looked at the Grandfather clock. It was 5:00 pm and 45 seconds. He sighed softly in anticipation, squeezing his fists then relaxing them.

Squeeze.

Relax.

Squeeze.

Relax.

Alastor looked back at the grandfather clock. 5:01 pm and 35 seconds. 36 seconds. 37 seconds... Time was passing painfully slow. How was he supposed to go an entire month without speaking? He bit the inside of his cheek, staring at the clock and tapping his foot anxiously.

Husk watched his brother study the clock. After taking a slow drink from his beverage, he cleared his throat.

"So, are you best friends with the clock now?"

Alastor whipped his head around so fast you could hear a sickening snap, staring husk dead in the eyes. He smiled a seemingly vicious smile, but it was apparent to Husk he was anxious. 

Husk sighed and motioned him over to the bar. "Come on- you  _ clearly _ need something."

Alastor quickly walked over and sat down, causing the stool to clatter, earning a weirded out look from Husk.

"You seem tense," Husk started slowly. "Do you want anything? Bourbon? Beer?"

"I want m' staff." He said quietly, barely enough for Husk to hear.

The chimera sighed; Looking back at the glass he was polishing. 

"If you want your shit back, you have to get it yourself." Husk grumbled. 

Alastor's eyes narrowed at him as his ever-present smile twitched in agitation. 

"How d' hell am I gon' tell Ange to gimme m' staff back? He ain't gonna listen."

"Have you tried talking to him?"

"........"

"Al,"

"......"

"Have you tried talking to Angel-"

"If y' gotta know- no, I ain't even tried yet."

"You're so full of shit- go talk to him before I make you. You're gonna make holes in my bar from tapping your fingers so damn much." He snarled, clearly done with the childish antics.

"Kay fine den! I'll go- y' *couyon." Alastor huffed, making his way up the stairs.

Husk sighed and watched the deer walk up the staircase, then shook his head and took a swig from his glass. 

"Fuckin' immature bastard." husk mumbled, going back to polishing a shot glass.

"Come on you know you don't mean that kitty! I know you love him, that's just how he is!"

Husk jumped, flapping his wings in surprise and almost dropping the cup to see Niffty sitting in a stool; her little head peeking over the bar.

"Jesus Niffty- don't fucking sneak up on me like that huh? I've told you this a thousand times-"

"I know! I just couldn't help overhearing what happened to Al! poor thing, he can't speak!! I really hope that girl angel gives him his staff back, he seems so sad without it!" Niffty babbled, causing Husk to raise a brow at her empathy for the deer.

"He did it to himself, he's gonna figure it out. Don't pity him, it'll probably make it worse." 

"Aww, ok then." She replied sadly.

The couple looked up to the staircase, both wondering if this will all get sorted out.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Alastor stood in front of the spider's door, his hand hovering over the door. 

_ "What am I going to say?? How do I tell him I lost the deal and I need my staff back-" _

_ "Oh wait..." _

Alastor facepalmed in frustration, grumbling angrily as he dragged his hand down his face. Looking at the door in determination, he rose his fist and knocked politely on the door.

"Who is it?" Angel called from the other side of the door, frantically jumping out of his bed to hide the liquor bottles carelessly left out from last night, in case charlie would come to survey his room.

A loud radio surge from the other side of the door made it apparent of who it was.

"Oh good- it's smiles." He mumbled gratefully. "Come in!!!"

Alastor opened the door, being met with the sight of the taller demon. He was wearing a big grey t-shirt and pink, fluffy slippers. He wasn't wearing any makeup and his hair was messy from sleeping.

He looked gorgeous.

_ "Wait, what??" _

Alastor blinked as Angel captured his attention

"Hey- helloooo? Al, I said hi-" Angel snapped in front of his face.

Al jumped back, realizing the five-foot perimeter has been breached. Angel snorted in amusement and Alastor straightened himself up.

"I made a few jokes but ya didn't react! What's tha matta? Cat got ya tongue?" He snickered, furthering Alastor's frustration, causing a harsh radio feedback.

"Ok, ok, fine. Come on in."

Alastor nodded and followed the spider into the room.

"So whaddya wanna talk about?"

He was really trying to get himself killed.

Alastor sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Would sign language work? It was probably very outdated signing, but they were born at around the same time so it had to work. Right?

_ *Can you give me my staff back?*  _ Alastor signed to Angel.

Angel's face twisted into confusion, then defense. 

"Hey, are ya tryin' ta throw gangs signs at me?" He barked, looking at Alastor suspiciously.

Alastor waved his hands around frantically as if he was saying no. But was caught off-guard when Angel busted out into cackling laughter.

"Just kidding!!! God, you should see the look on ya face! I know it's not gang signs. Not really sure whatcha tryn' ta say though babe." He snickered, causing Alastor to deflate in an annoyed manner.

Alastor looked around the room and made a bee-line for the vanity and started digging around in it.

"Hey-! Al wait no don't-"

Alastor stopped; and turned to Angel holding a large pink object. Confusion scrawled on his face as he looked at Angel. Was this some sort of pen? It was ridiculously large. He saw a button on the object and pressed it, hoping it would give him a tool to write with.

The object vibrated violently upon the button being pressed, Alastor dropped the object in surprise, watching it vibrate and flop violently on the floor.

Angel was on the floor in a heap of wheezing laughter; great. He was hysterical for some reason. Alastor kicked him in the shin, glaring at him, trying to get his attention.

"OH MY GOD- OH HO HO- OWW- BHAHAA!!!!-" Angel bellowed, hugging himself as tears formed in his eyes from laughing so hard. 

Dramatically gasping for air, he kept laughing. Alastor rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

After having calmed down, Alastor already had a pen and paper and started writing his demands. Angel looked up curiously at the deer demon scribbling away on the vanity. 

"Whatcha drawin' smiles?"

Alastor shoved the paper into Angel's face, watching him as his eyes darted back and forth, reading the list of demands.

"Okay then Al~ if ya wanted to interview me ya coulda just said so~" he purred, sending a shiver of disgust down his back.

Angel cleared his throat and read the first question aloud. 

"'Do ya remember what happened last night?' Well, sure doll! I remember some parts. I have some video on my phone if ya wanna see."

Alastor debated it, but shook his head 'no'. The device was fallible to him, not as good as a real memory. Angel shrugged and prepared to read the second demand.

"I can't speak and I need my staff back, meaning I want to call off the deal." Angel raised a brow, then smirked with lidded eyes.

"Ya admittin' defeat Al?~" He cooed, making the deer squirm in discomfort at the seductive tone.

Alastor hastily scribbled that he needed the staff to speak and that he had a reputation to keep up. Angel read the paper and looked at him.

"But we made a deal! there are hundreds of reasons I hate the thing; like-"

Alastor sighed. Listening to the stupid excuses the spider made, such as; 'it makes weird noises' 'it has an eyeball' 'it looked at me funny' 'it's sentient and staffs shouldn't be sentient creatures'.

"Buddy, I get it. You deepthroat the microphone for a job, I know that weird shit gets viewers an-" 

"Boy y' betta shut da hell up, I  **_ do not _ ** deep-t'roat a microphone fo' a livin-" Alastor growled. Then hastily covered his mouth, realizing what he just did.

Angel's mouth was on the floor.

"BITCH I THOUGHT YA SAID YA COULDN'T TALK-" Angel exclaimed, looking at Alastor in a betrayed sort of way.

Alastor quickly walked out of the room, despite the spider shouting to come back.

_ "How did I let that uncultured arachnid get under my skin?! Now what am I going to do??" _

He walked quickly down the hall, hearing the spider quickly catching up to him.

"Al- AL!!! Hey come on- I didn't mean that! Please don't tell Charlie I made that joke-" 

Angel grabbed for his shoulder, only to be left grabbing black smoke. He was gone, quite literally slipping out of his fingers. Angel sighed, heading back to his room.

Angel flopped down on his bed, hoping that Alastor wouldn't tell Charlie he'd been selfish and 'resisting recovery'. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Couyon......An ignorant person
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed!!! im trying to write longer, more drawn out chapters <3 <3 <3


	4. More confusion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Husker has to put up with Al being Al

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THATS RIGHT- IM BACK BABY- IM POSTING A (hopefully) LONG CHAPTER TO MAKE UP FOR MY MONTHS LONG ABSENCE- DID YA MISS ME DSKFGJL;AG'

Husk laid face-down on the bar, sleeping off the alcohol from the hours prior. He slept, dreaming of aces, spades, and getting the jackpot. Only to be rudely awoken by a sudden jolt from his right shoulder. 

Husk awoke angrily, punching at the perpetrator who dared to wake him from his nap. Black smoke puffed at where he hit, he glanced to the right to see Alastor's shadow grinning. The dark figure waved at him, and pointed back to the stockroom behind the bar. 

Sighing, husker rolled his eyes. "What the hell do you want?" He growled at the shadow. 

The creature dramatically gestured to the stockroom, implying that husker should follow. Husker sighed again and headed back to the stockroom. 

"You couldn't even come out here yoursel-" Husker stopped mid-sentence to stare at the scene before him. 

Alastor had blood on his shirt, and was pacing around the small area. His arms crossed tightly; his left arm was digging into his right forearm, causing a small trail of blood to follow him. He was mumbling nonsense to himself. He didn't even notice husk enter the space. 

Husk looked to the shadow in an exasperated confusion, silently asking how the worst could've possibly happened. The shadow motioned him to go and comfort the deer, giving encouraging waves in Alastor's direction. Husk turned from the shadow back to his brother, who was still pacing in a circle. 

"Jesus Al- what happened?" Husk asked, cautiously approaching him, being wary to not startle the wendigo. 

Alastor didn't respond. Husk looked down to the gash in Al's arm, growing deeper by the second. 

"Okay- I'm gonna need you to stop doing that." husker said quietly, gently taking the damaged arm away from the offending hand. 

"There we go. Good god, Al- you mangled the whole fuckin' arm." He whispered, inspecting the wounded appendage. 

Alastor kept his face hidden, looking in the opposite direction. Husk sighed and led the way to the storehouse's washroom. After cleaning and mending the damaged arm with no reply from Alastor, they sat across from one another in the stockroom. Surrounded by bottles of empty and full jugs alike. Husker adjusted his own wine box chair and clasped his hands, looking to Al. 

"So. I can assume it didn't go well. Wanna tell me what happened or are you just gonna sit there?" Alastor sighed, and lifted his head, brushing his hair back in an attempt to clear his vision. 

"Well. I muck'd up." Al stated simply.

"Okay- how did you fuck up?" Husk inquired, "That's a really vague statement. Did you kill anyone..?" 

"No. An' I said _muck'd._ " Husk rolled his eyes at the correction, but gave a small sigh of relief. 

"Okay- so why are you being a baby about it? You didn't kill him... God the bar is low Al." Husk snickered tiredly, looking up at him. 

Alastor's look told him he wasn't amused. 

"What? Come on, it's kinda funny don't cha think?" Husk reasoned through his laughter, earning an eye roll from Al. 

"I gave away m' accent. Angel knows." 

Husker stopped laughing and looked at Alastor with a confused look, processing what he just said. 

"You mean to fuckin' tell me, that all your hysterics about what seemed to be the end of the fuckin' world was about your stupid accent?" Husk snarled, becoming increasingly aggravated with the deer. 

"It ain't over nothin' Husk'r, it's about m' reputation! Dat ain't somethin' ta take lightly!" Alastor protested, only fueling Husk's temper. 

"What the hell am I gonna fuckin' do with you Al-" Husk grumbled, putting his head in his hands in a defeated manner. 

Alastor stared at the cat, blinking in annoyance.

"You're such a fuckin' drama queen. You're gonna drive me to fuckin' drink." He muttered, feeling around for the drink in question. 

Alastor sighed, looking from the ceiling down to his bandaged arm. He peeked under the bandages at the stitches, they were small and precise. The work of a professional. 

"Don't fuckin' pick at it, leave it alone." Husk growled, swatting Al's hand away from the sutures. 

"How d'ya know how t' do dat?" Alastor inquired curiously. 

"Well," Husk began, "I was an army medic back in 'Nam. I wasn't the best, but we made do with what we had." He replied, leaning his head against the wall, thinking back to his days of service. 

Alastor nodded and sat quietly. 

"T'ank you for y' service." 

"Don't thank me. That war was shit, it should've never fuckin' happened." Husk murmured, lost in thought. 

The pair sat in silence for what felt like ages, until the silence was broken. 

"What even really lead up to you drinking with Angel?" Husk asked, face turned to a scowl of confusion. 

"I've given a lot of thought behind it and it just don't make any fuckin' sense Al. You don't drink, not to that point." Husk looked at Alastor expectantly, trying to get an answer out of him. 

Nothing, not a single answer. He knew he was awake, but wasn't sure if he was there in a mental sense. 

"I guess I'll just keep thinking of reasons until I find one that makes you react," He taunted, looking to the wendigo for any sign that he heard him. 

He flicked his ear in response. Good enough. He hummed thoughtfully, his thoughts drifting back to this morning's conversation. 

"Laura. You only drank to that point with her." He pondered, then came upon a realization. "Do you like Angel? In, you know. _That way?"_

Alastor scoffed loudly. "As if- he jus' seemed like a challenge. I was bored, y'know me Husk'r, I'm a magnet fo' boredom." he replied bitterly. 

"So what- I'm just a challenge to you? So much for that, I beat you by a long-shot, baby." 

The two men jumped, looking to the doorframe. It was the Spider himself. 

"The fuck are you doing behind my bar?!" Husk hissed, clearly frazzled from the surprise entrance. 

"I come back here to get *la mia grappa di mele~" he purred, stepping between the two to get to his beverages. 

Husk looked at him with a cross look, then shook his head,

"Hey don't fuckin' take that! shit's expensive! How long have you been listening??" Husker snapped, snatching away the alcohol from the spider. 

"Hey-! La mia grappa di mele!!!" Angel whined, making grabby hands towards the drink. 

"Uhg- I don't know. I heard some shit about a chick named Laura and some other stuff- now gimme!" Angel made a swift snatch for the drink, and held it above Husk's head.

"Gah- fine. Take it- see if I give a shit." Husk hissed in annoyance, walking out of the stockroom, leaving Alastor and Angel alone. 

"Sooo, who's this Laura gal? I didn't know the all-powerful Radio Demon has a crush~" Angel jeered, making Alastor stir uncomfortably. 

Silence ensued. Angel turned to Alastor, only to find he was gone. 

"Dammit Anthony-" Angel swore under his breath, let out a sigh, and made his way up the stairs. 

Angel flopped on the bed, after making sure to stow away his bottles of alcohol somewhere Charlie couldn't find them quickly. He sighed, rubbing his face in defeat as Fat Nuggets curled up next to him. 

"Do ya think he really likes me Nuggs?" Angel asked the pig, only receiving a tired oink in response. 

He sighed, feeling hurt and confused. Mostly confused, it was easy for him to get over guys. He was untouchable, _The_ Angeldust, he could have whoever he wanted for the most part. Over half of hell was foaming at the mouth for him, so why is this one asshole giving him heartache? 

"I feel like I'm back in the old days- all this petty shit and nobody is upfront with each otha'." he complained, flopping his arms to his sides.

Angel looked down at Fat Nuggets, and scooped him up. 

"At least you're pretty transparent with what you want!" he babbled, tickling the pig, causing it to squeal in delight. 

"Maybe Daddy will figure this whole Alastor thing out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *la mia grappa di mele....Italian for: My apple grappa.   
> Grappa is an italian alcohol! it has extremely high alcohol content, which is a reason angel likes it!
> 
> Again- i am so fucking sorry i forgot about this fic- i hope to be able to update it since writing is kind of all the energy i have left to do creatively. I hope you guys enjoy- so so sorry for the long wait again, thanks for being beyond patient


	5. Realization and Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SORRY THIS TOOK A BIT- my life has been kinda upside down. hope you understand!

Angel walked down the dimly lit hallway. Apparently, this was the floor Alastor's room was on. But everyone referred to it as Alastor's Floor. 

Angel jumped at the flickering lights, already feeling as if he was trespassing on sacred land. 

"Dear god, the fuck am I doing here-" he mumbled to himself. Stopping at Alastor's door, he inspected the various objects. 

There was a mirror, 13 pennies on the ground, and instead of the room number, there were just some odd, geometric scribbles. Angle shook his body to rid himself of his nerves and knocked on the door. 

"Hey, Al?" Angel heard shuffling, and slow footsteps towards the door. 

*"Is dat me?" Alastor said, his voice muffled from behind the door. 

“What? I mean yeah, I'd hope it's you... It's Angel." 

Alastor's footsteps started to walk away from the door. 

"Wait! Al it's about your staff." 

The footsteps stopped, then traveled back to the door. 

After a few seconds of locks being undone, Alastor opened the door. He glared at Angel from behind the chain-lock door. 

"Really?" Angel sighed, cocking his head to the side in annoyance. "Dude, c'mon. It's me." 

Alastor rolled his eyes and shut the door. After a few clicks, the door creaked open. 

"Come in." He muttered, retreating further into the room. 

Angel entered, taking a look around. It was dark, just barely enough to see. 

"Jesus Al- can we get a light on in here?" Angel felt his way around the room. Managing to find a lamp, though he almost broke it in the process, he turned it on. 

"*Saleau!-" Alastor cursed, flinching away from the light. 

"Oh come on, I need some light in here." Angel protested, "I can't see in tha dark."

Alastor sighed and rubbed his face. 

"Why are you here, Ange." Alastor mumbled irritably. 

"Well," Angel started, "I wanted ta ask you a question." 

" Quest'n 'bout what." Alastor sighed tiredly. 

his energy was already drained from his meltdown only hours ago, and this was just making it worse. 

"Ok, so I know you're tha deal guy and all, but what if I have a deal for ya? What ifff- I can ask ya two questions and ya have to answer, no lies, and you can have ya staff back right now!" Angel cheered, wiggling his eyebrows and smiling his wide toothy smile, trying to convince Al to consider. 

Alastor blinked, thinking for a moment. If worst came to worst, he would have to wipe Angel's memory, It would be difficult, but not impossible. 

Alastor looked at him and nodded in agreement. 

"'Aight, le's make a deal 'den." 

Angel grabbed Alastor's outstretched hand and shook it enthusiastically. Alastor grunted and swiped his hand away, face crumpled up in disgust. 

"Oh, yeah, right. No touching! Sorry." Angel apologized sheepishly. 

"So. Wat's da firs' quest'n?" Alastor asked, seeming to have perked up. 

"Ok- so are you like a cowboy or something?? Because ya kinda have a southern accent but it doesn't match with tha stuff I watched as a kid." 

Alastor scoffed dramatically. 

"I ain't no cowboy, I'm from da *bayou." 

Angel gave a confused look. 

"You're from a wahoo? I mean yeah we have a mom for a reason-" 

"No-" Alastor interjected, already getting tired of Angel's shenanigans. 

"When I say I'm from da bayou, I mean I'm from Louisiana." 

Angel nodded, but still looked confused. "So, is riding a horse as easy as it looks? Because I don't know what Louisiana is. I'm assuming you're anotha type of cowboy-" 

Alastor pinched the bridge of his nose out of irritation. 

"I'm not no damn cowboy, I'm a cajun. It's different from dat cowboy stuff up in da north." 

"Oooh ok! Uh ok now for the next question, who was Laura?" 

Alastor froze, thinking of a way to respond to his question. He sighed, having a distant look in his eye. 

"Misses Laura was a lov'ly women I met out of state at da bar. She approach'd me and bought me a drink. Women don't buy men drinks, it ain't da norm. It was fascinatin' ta me. She was a clever beaut." Al reminisced, having a fond look on his face.

"Aww! Al has a crush~" Angel gushed, clearly invested in the love story.

"Shut ya mout'. I did ya quest'ns. Can i get my staff now?" Al asked tiredly, hoping he answered Angel's questions.

"No no no- what did she look like?" 

"Uhg. She 'ad deep chocolate brown eyes... An' curly blonde hair dat cut off at 'er shouldas. She 'ad a tiny button nose, an' she 'ad pale skin. We done now?" 

Angel had a concentrated look on his face, then his eyes widened with realization 

“what was her name?” 

“Laura.” 

“Laura Sherwin??” 

“yea- how did-” 

“Alastor?” 

“what?” 

“Alastor Awinita Boudreaux???” 

“How da hell- how did'ya know dat-” 

“DUDE HANG ON-” Angel dug into his hoodie pockets for his phone, and started excitedly tapping and swiping on it. 

“Is this her???"

Angel shoved the phone in Alastor's face, It was a picture of Laura. 

“What kinda- how da hell did'ya get dat?? What is you playin' at??” Alastor asked defensively, confused about how Laura's photograph got into the phone. 

"When ya get a hellphone, you have tha option of buying the photos that were taken of ya from when you were alive!" 

"But dat don't make no sense, You's a man, she's a woman, is she ya sister?" 

Angel averted his gaze and rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous fashion. 

"Angel, why do ya have Laura on dat damn telephone." 

Angel shifted uncomfortably and took a deep breath. 

"Well, I'm kind of Laura..?" Angel drawled anxiously. 

Alastor looked at him, then busted into a fit of laughter. 

"You ain't Laura- You's a man!!!" He cackled, not taking the statement seriously. 

Angel huffed, fixated on his phone for a second, then showed Alastor the comparison. 

"Look, this is me as my human self, then me in drag as my alter ego, Laura. I used ta dress up as a woman to pick up cute guys because it was easier like that." He explained, watching Alastor's eyes dart between the two pictures, then have a horrified look of realization on his face. 

He couldn't believe it, this couldn't be true. 

Technology was faulty...  Right? 

But the evidence was damning. 

Both of them had the exact same freckles, same nose, same beautiful eyes. 

_ "No, no. Not beautiful, deceptive, and lying. Why couldn't I catch this quicker?"  _ Alastor thought, his head buzzing from shock. 

Everything felt foggy. It was getting hard to breathe. 

"Al? Al??? Are you okay??" 

Alastor blinked, trying to see past the static to see the figure talking to him. 

He felt himself leaning back, and felt his body thud onto the ground. 

Everything faded to black, and the sound of the figure's panicked shouting drowned into the void as a heavy blanket of darkness took over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * "Is Dat Me?" ....... so i don't know where this comes from, but apparently in either voodoo, hoodoo, or igbo cultures, if you hear someone calling your name from outside your home, you dont respond with clarification that it's you. because teh voice might be a spirit and if you give them your name they have entrance to your home to cause chaos? I vaugely hrad of this, SO- it may or may not be true, so if anyone knows please contact me because i like to make my writing as accurate as possible.
> 
> *"Saleau!"..... Cajun french for a Sloppy, dirty man
> 
> *Bayou..... a slow moving river or stream, but when someone says they are "from the bayou" it means they are from the deep south in Louisiana.
> 
> hope this was good!! sorry it took a second, this chapter was tricky to write,


	6. vindication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i lied, i had some trouble writing this chapter- sorry for the wait lmfao

"Oh god, oh fuck what do I do?!" Angel panicked, all while looking at the wendigo's unconscious body on the floor. 

After Angel confessed he was Laura, Alastor was so overwhelmed from the realization he fainted. Or Angel hoped he fainted. Hopefully, he would wake up soon. 

"O-ok Alastor, very funny. Wake up you drama queen," he chided, lightly kicking Alastor's foot. "I know you don't believe me, you're fucking with me." 

No movement. No response. 

Angel fidgeted with his sweater. 

"Oh my god, what if I killed him?? Oh god, I fucking killed him-" Angel quavered, backing up from the body only to hit the wall. 

He slid down the wall and hugged his legs, trying to think of what to do. 

"Come on Anthony, think!" He whispered, lightly hitting his temple to get any sort of solution to his problem. 

He looked to Alastor. He isn't going to wake up anytime soon. 

He sighed, walked over to Alastor, and stood over him. 

"Well Al," Angel sighed, " I'm gonna have to pick you up-" Angel cut himself off with a giggle. 

"God I wish I could pick you up, y'know, on like, a date thing." Angel laughed, looked back at Al, and facepalmed. 

"Sorry- ok, back ta tryin' to get ya from the floor to somewhere that ain't tha floor." Angel huffed, bent down to pick up Alastor bridal style. 

"Ok- hope ya don't mind me touching you because that floor can't be comftable-" Angel muttered, putting his arms under Alastor's legs and arms. "Alrighty, here we go!" 

Angel strained, trying his hardest to pick up the wendigo, but his tries were unsuccessful. 

"What da hell? How the fuck are you so heavy?!" Angel heaved. 

Angel stood up and put his hands on his hips, trying to catch his breath. He then remembered something. Something charlie said about demon's weight, it was in an anatomy class she made Angel take to redeem him. 

______________________________________________________________________

_ "You can tell the magnitude of sins a denizen has by how much they weigh. Some of them are light and some as heavy. So the goal is to undo the sins so you're light enough to float into heaven! The body type doesn't matter, because it's just a display of your soul. So you can look heavy, but weigh almost nothing, and vice versa!" _

______________________________________________________________________

Right. That makes sense. 

Alastor must have committed some heinous sins to be  **_this_ ** heavy. 

"Ok, I'm gonna have ta fuckin' deadlift ya Al. I'm sorry in advance for any, weird, uncomftable, touching." He babbled. 

Angel stood over Alastor, stepped one leg over him, and stood directly over his body. Readying his arms, he summoned his third pair of arms and leaned down to Alastor, face to face with him. Angel slid his arms underneath Alastor, in an odd hugging manner, and held him close to his chest. 

"Ok, this is weird but I'm gonna lift ya up and ova ok?" Angel explained to the unconscious deer, not really expecting a reply. 

Angel took a few deep breaths and lifted Al. 

"ok, hhhhgghhaaAAAAA-" Angel cried, stumbling but managing to get Alastor off of the ground. 

"Jesus fuck Al- God dAMMIT FUCKING RRAAAAAA-" Angel yelled, running over to the bed and flopping himself with Alastor on top of him. 

"GAH- Ok get the fUCK oFF Of mE-" He gasped, using all of his might to push Alastor off. 

The bed sank where Alastor laid. Angel panted, retracting his third pair of arms and giving himself a moment to relax. Angel looked over to the slumbering deer and sighed. 

"What the hell did you do to get so fuckin heavyyy???" He whined, exhausted from the workout.

"And how did ya get out from below this circle..?" Angel whispered, staring at the wendigo's face. 

He looked so tired and worn down, Angel wondered if he slept all that often. 

Angel breathed softly, feeling the energy drain out of him, not caring to move out of Alastor's room, he drifted off to sleep.

______________________________________________________________________

Alastor gasped, bolting upward in the bed. He looked around. His eyes settled on Angel, who was sleeping next to him. 

Alastor hopped off the bed, backing up while looking at the slumbering spider. 

_ "I must have drained him of his energy-" _ Alastor thought, looking at his hands and back at the spider. 

Alastor blinked, realizing that he must have completed the deal, and could probably summon his staff again. He snapped his fingers and received his beloved staff. 

He chuckled quietly, and dusted off the microphone and softly spoke to it. "How are you old friend?" 

It fuzzed cheerily, causing Al to smile. 

"It's good to see you too, my apologies for making that awful deal. It won't happen again." He apologized, the mic's static noise surging in agreement. 

"Now, what should we do with the spider?" He whispered, turning to Angel, who was in a deep sleep on the bed. 

"Hm. Noir, my sweet. Come here for a moment, would you?" Alastor beckoned, holding out his hand. 

A shadowy mist crawled up his leg, torso, and into his hand. The little shadow opened it's electric blue eyes and peered back at Alastor. 

"Hello, Noir. Would you mind telling me what happened? Assuming you were watching the ordeal." Noir nodded and began to demonstrate the scene of the accident. 

First, he shapeshifted into Angel and Alastor, then went on to display Alastor fainting at Angel's confession. 

"Oh how embarrassing, I wilted right then and there!" Alastor remarked, facepalming in embarrassment at the scene. 

Noir then displayed Angel pacing the room, having a mental breakdown, and managing to pick up Alastor and throw him on the bed. 

"Well, I have to admire the strength it took to pick me up. I'm not the lightest sinner in the slightest!" He remarked, dusting himself off. 

"Though, his mouth was moving an awful lot, what was he saying? Nothing perverted I hope." He shuddered, feeling ill at the thought. 

Noir gestured wildly, disproving Alastor's idea. 

"Oh? He wasn't acting in that manner? Alright, how was he really acting then?" 

Noir gestured and danced about, it looked like complete foolishness, but Alastor always managed to understand what Noir was saying. 

"So he was apologizing for touching my person, and panicking because he thought I had died twice..." Alastor pondered for a moment, tapping the hull of his microphone thoughtfully. 

"Well, if he was that courteous to me, I might as well return the favor!" He exclaimed, concluding the solution to the situation. 

Alastor snapped his fingers and they were teleported to Angel's room. The deer kept Angel suspended in the air, and fixed up the bed so it could be fit for sleeping. He threw out the various trinkets in his sheets, such as nail polish, magazines, and various candies. 

After making the bed, Alastor directed the floating spider onto the bed and set him down gently. He then motioned his hand, and the covers tucked themselves in. 

Alastor took a quick look around and noticed that the pig's food was empty. With a quick flick of his wrist, food and water appeared for the pampered swine. 

He nodded and took one last look at the spider. He looked so peaceful, cuddled up in the fluffy pink sheets. The wendigo sighed softly, giving a small smile at the sight. 

"At least he's comfortable, don't you think?" Al whispered to Noir, who was resting on his shoulder, nodded in agreement. 

"Well, let's call it a day, shall we?" Noir waved farewell to the spider, as Alastor walked to the door and left, closing the door softly with a small click. 

He walked down the hall, humming a cheery tune. All was back to normal, his staff was back. All he had left to do was wipe Angel's memory and he would be set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all enjoyed this!!! Sorry for the very detailed scenes- i wanted to get what was in my mind across to you guys but it was probably just weird... ANYWAYS ENJOY!!!

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to critique in the comments! this is my first work in a while, and my first time using this site! so sorry if it seems kinda wonky!


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